3pm Saturday Times Square NYC Improv Comedy

20 Horrible Dad Jokes, puns for Bad Hair Day, Barbers, Hair Stylists, etc

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  1. My bad haircut is so awful; even my shadow refuses to follow me around.
  2. After joining the military, my hair got dishonorably discharged.
  3. I told my barber I thought I should dye my hair. They just threw me some shades.
  4. I now go to an AI barber. Sign outside says, shave and a haircut, two bytes.
  5. I had such a bad hair day that my mirror filed a formal complaint.
  6. I told my hair stylist I wanted something “light and breezy,” so she turned on the fan.
  7. I told my barber I demand compensation for this terrible hair cut. He gave me a hat.
  8. Getting a bad haircut is like paying for a horror movie, but you’re the star.
  9. The hair stylist is not great, but the conversation is a “shear” delight.
  10. My barber is so bad that when he finished cutting he called me a cab, but a clown car pulled up.
  11. I asked my stylist for something new. “I WANT CHANGE” I said. My head is now tiled in pennies.
  12. Why did the barber go broke? Because he just couldn’t make the cut!
  13. Why was the barber always calm under pressure? Because he knew how to keep his combs!
  14. What is a bad barber’s favorite movie? Texas Chainsaw Massacre
  15. Why did the barber open a bakery next door? He wanted to offer “hair-raisin’” pastries!
  16. Why did the barber bring a ladder to work? Because he wanted to give high-top fades!
  17. They say a bad haircut can be fixed, but I’m starting to think mine needs an exorcism.
  18. Did you hear about the barber who won the lottery? He’s now a millionaire, but he still can’t part with his clippers!
  19. My barber is so bad that even a tumbleweed would refuse to roll through the door.
  20. What do you call a barber who can sing? A “tune-up” artist!
  21. How does a barber make phone calls? He “razor” dials!
  22. What’s a barber’s favorite kind of music? “Clip”-hop!
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