I truly believe that the secret to success, in any endeavor, boils down to just three fundamental principles. These aren’t just business rules; they are life rules that govern how we interact, create, and lead.
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When we focus on these three guiding principles, we stop trying to be great and start doing great work, delivering our best selves to every situation.
The Three Guiding Principles
1. HAVE FUN, but never at another’s expense!
Joy is a fuel for creativity and connection. When you genuinely enjoy the process, others around you feel it. However, that joy cannot come at the cost of another person’s dignity or comfort. A lighthearted, fun atmosphere that is also safe and inclusive is a breeding ground for innovation and strong teamwork.
2. YES AND… Accept and support all, then bring your best work to the table!
This principle, borrowed from the world of improvisation, is about radical acceptance and additive contribution. Your job isn’t just to do your part; your job is to set everyone else up for awesomeness and success. Accept the reality presented to you and your team, support the ideas and people in the room, and then build on it with the highest quality work you can offer.
3. LISTEN WITH YOUR EYES
True listening is not a passive activity; it is a full-body commitment. “Listening with your eyes” means being completely present—watching body language, observing the environment, and reading the subtle cues that convey more information than words alone. It means putting your own internal monologue on hold to fully receive what is being communicated.
The Destructive Force of Ego and Insecurity
EVERYTHING ELSE is a distraction born of ego and insecurity.
When we lead with ego and insecurity, we operate from a place of fear and uncertainty, sometimes even malice. This mindset is a silent killer of all the things we strive for: creativity, critical thinking, team cohesion, effective leadership, sales, and service.
You see this fear most clearly in the work of “trying.”
- Don’t try to be funny.
- Don’t try to be clever.
- Don’t try to be great.
“Trying” is the work of ego. When we are afraid of incompetence, we are ironically more likely to be incompetent. We waste so much valuable mental energy worrying about how we look, that we have to take shortcuts in the actual work, hoping no one sees our flaws and faults. When you stop “trying” and instead focus all your energy on doing the work of the three principles, you operate at the top of your game.
Model the Behavior: Become the Ninja
When we listen and focus at the top of our game, we become ninjas in our field—people who execute with silent, fluid mastery. But remember, every black belt in Karate starts with just a Gi. We work hard and rise up slowly and surely by practicing the fundamentals.
We often demand behavior from others—especially our children—by yelling things like, “LISTEN! FOCUS! RESPECT!” This approach actually destroys listening, focus, and respect, as it teaches that these essential skills are functions of fear, something to be demanded.
Instead of demanding, we need to model and teach the joy of listening and focus. When people genuinely love to listen and focus, respect naturally follows.
Here’s how to start embodying the change you want to see:
- Start every day with a smile. If you want the world to smile with you, lead by example.
- Start every day with a stretch. If you want the kids to have great posture, lead by example.
- Take time to center yourself. Engage in practices like yoga, swimming, or meditation to center yourself physically and mentally.
- Take an improv class and learn to HAVE FUN and lead your world with Joy!
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