Remember being a kid, completely unburdened by judgment, totally absorbed in play? That’s the mindset we need to reclaim. Far too often, we carry the insecurities and self-consciousness of middle school into adulthood, letting the fear of what others might think stifle our creativity, our joy, and our best work.
I saw this firsthand today teaching improv comedy to 6-year-olds in a Brooklyn school. Even at that young age, many were already nervous about “messing up” during a simple game like Zip Zap. I told them, “If you mess up, who cares? If someone else messes up, who cares?” The teacher, under her breath, exclaimed, “Oh my God, yes!” It wasn’t about apathy; it was about shifting focus to having fun, listening, and sharing, getting past the fear of ridicule that starts to creep in far too early. We say we beat creativity and joy out of a child by the time they’re nine, but these kids were six and already feeling the pressure. And let’s be honest, they learn it from us.
Don’t Let Middle School Happen to You
This middle school mindset—the hyper-awareness of ourselves and our place in the world—manifests as extreme insecurity, social anxiety, or even overcompensation through arrogance and judgment. We hide from our true selves, building up an ego to protect against perceived threats. But true confidence isn’t about bravado; it’s about not caring what others think and not being afraid of failure.
As far as I’m concerned, there is no failure unless you give up. There are only hiccups, mistakes, and learning opportunities. When we mess up, we fix it, we learn, and we take chances. The worst-case scenario? You might accidentally offend someone. If that happens, don’t get defensive—simply apologize. “I’m sorry.” The key is to have fun, but never at anyone else’s expense. If you live by that rule, you’ll never intentionally offend anyone.
We are all human. Accept that. Don’t try to be funny or clever; trust that you are funny and clever. When you try too hard, you’re driven by ego and insecurity, by the fear of not being accepted. That’s when you produce mediocre work. Perfectionism often leads to mediocrity because we’re so afraid of making a mistake, we never truly put ourselves out there.
The Power of Play and Improv
My name is Walter Fraser, and I’m an improv comedian and corporate team-building specialist. I use improv comedy in K-12 schools to teach students and teachers to be better communicators and community members. I also bring these skills to Fortune 500 companies and boutique firms, working with everyone from lawyers to financial professionals to sales teams.
The skills you learn from improv—like “yes, and” (support), listening, and creating a fun, safe space—translate into every aspect of life and work. If you’re not having fun at work, something’s wrong, and that change has to start with leadership. At a personal level, it boils down to this: Who cares what people think? Who cares if you mess up? If you’re constantly worried about messing up or being second-rate, you’re likely to be mediocre.
When you’re not afraid to fail, when you really go after a subject, take chances, and put yourself out there, you will consistently surpass your own expectations. When you don’t take those chances, you fall short, and the disappointment is entirely self-inflicted. So, let’s stop worrying about what people might be thinking and start playing like we’re 5 again.
What’s one fear of “messing up” that’s holding you back right now?
You must be logged in to post a comment.