Your “Thing” and the Power of Acceptance (and Effort!) Becoming Your Best Self

When you use your thing as an excuse, you might think you are gaming the system, but you are merely selling yourself short. – Walt Frasier

Hey New York Improv family!

We talk a lot about acceptance in the improv world. It’s the bedrock of what we do – saying “yes, and” to whatever comes our way, embracing every quirky character, every wild idea, every unexpected turn. It’s about celebrating the spontaneous, the unrehearsed, and most importantly, the authentically human.

And let’s be real: “normal” is a myth. Anyone claiming to be normal is either playing it safe or completely in denial. As far as I’m concerned, everyone’s got a “thing” – that unique blend of quirks, traits, and experiences that sets us apart. And that “thing” isn’t something to hide or normalize; it’s something to celebrate.

Think about it: the opposite of this radical acceptance is bigotry. It’s the ego-driven, insecure need to categorize people, to put them in boxes because it’s easier than truly understanding. Whether it’s a tick, being on the spectrum, born into poverty, speaking a different language, looking or sounding different, believing in a different God – there are millions of variables that make each of us gloriously unique. And we, as New Yorkers, especially understand and thrive in this beautiful mosaic of humanity.

So, yes, we absolutely need to accept everyone for who they are.

However.…Don’t let the horrible deck life dealt you be an excuse to not make an effort to make the best possible life you can create for yourself

We need to stop using our “thing” as an excuse for our shortcomings.

• Dont let crippling depression or anxiety be an excuse to never learn what makes you happy!
• Don’t let ADHD be an excuse to never learn how to focus and listen.
• Don’t let dyslexia or other learning challenges be an excuse to never learn to read and write.

I hear it all the time, and I’ve experienced it myself. “I have ADHD, so I can’t focus.” “I have dyslexia, so I’m just not going to write.” And while I’m a huge advocate for understanding and accommodating our individual challenges, this mindset sells us incredibly short.

Take focus, for example. As someone who almost certainly has ADHD (never officially diagnosed, but the traits are certainly “my thing”), I’ve built a whole company around teaching people to listen and focus! And guess what? Learning to listen and focus is practically the secret to life, whether you have ADHD or not. The truth is, almost nobody is naturally a ninja at listening and focusing. It takes practice. It takes training. It takes effort.

So, while I’d never hold someone accountable in a negative way for a genuine struggle, I also know it’s possible to figure it out. I’ve seen students with ADHD become incredibly focused performers. It’s not easy, but it is possible. When you use your “thing” as an excuse not to even try, you’re not just selling yourself short; you’re missing out on your own potential.

This goes for anything. If you’re on the spectrum and brilliant, don’t let that brilliance be an excuse for not developing other skills. If you have dyslexia, yes, you might need special tools or extra time, but don’t let it stop you from communicating effectively. We have technology, we have strategies, we have each other. The step of “I can’t do it because I have a thing” needs to be skipped.

And for anyone out there putting you down because you have your “thing”? They’re terrible people, plain and simple.

But don’t be lazy. Don’t let your “thing” become an excuse for incompetence or a lack of effort. Your unique qualities – those quirks that make you, you – can become your superpowers. I’ve taken what some might call “weird” or “a little bit off” and built a career helping others.

So, let’s keep accepting, keep celebrating, and keep building a world where everyone belongs. And let’s also remember that true acceptance, both from others and of ourselves, comes with the understanding that our “thing” is part of who we are, not an excuse for who we can’t become.

Never let anyone put you in a box. But usually we fail to achieve our best selves because of our own ego, insecurity or simple laziness.

Life is hard. Most spend more time complaining then rising to the challenge. Meanwhile, those of us that work hard, spend all that time and mental space on creating opportunity, not excuses.

What’s your “thing,” and how are you making it work for you? Share in the comments below!