FAILURE IS THE KEY TO SUCCESS…

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“Failure” is a mindset. I used to believe that the only real failure was giving up on yourself—quitting the business entirely. But I can’t honestly say that someone who chose stability and a family over the unpredictable “gig life” has failed. In fact, at times, I’m a little jealous. That person can do community theater, paint for fun, or go to karaoke and simply enjoy the art and the community without the constant pressure of wondering, “Will this pay my bills?”

I’m currently on my way to Boston for a corporate gig, where I’ll be teaching team building, leadership, and sales through the principles of improv. It’s a job that continually brings me back to the core issues of ego and insecurity. These two forces can destroy a team, crush creativity, and demolish self-worth.

I’ve come to define ego as an overcompensation for insecurity. We all have it. Some of us just deal with it better. The real work is letting yourself be silly, even foolish, in public. Letting go of the fear of failure is ultimately about letting go of the fear of judgment.

This journey goes even deeper. Maintaining a positive mindset isn’t easy. I’m human. I spend hours every week contemplating my problems—while driving to gigs, floating in the waves at the beach, or lying in bed. The negative thoughts creep in, with desires of early retirement, leaving the country to avoid our politics, or quitting the business. I consider issues with clients, the paperwork I have to do, the writing that needs to get done, the marketing. I wonder if I’ll have an audience at our Times Square shows this weekend or if I’ll have gigs next month. It’s overwhelming, and at times I collapse under the pressure for a few moments.

But in that time, I don’t just wallow. I ponder ways to solve the problems. I weigh the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Ultimately, it comes down to how we define failure. I could list dozens of small failures over my 53 years of life. But I can also look back and see that each “failure” led to a different path, a fork in the road.

Failures in past relationships led me to my wife, and we’re now 32 years since our first date. Failure as an actor in theater led to 20 years of working day-job-free in corporate and educational arts programming, plus a few TV appearances. I didn’t make it as a singer/dancer, but my training in opera, ballet, and tap makes me a better person today. The stretching and breathing techniques I learned now help me manage illness and pain.

I am the sum of 53 years of successes and failures. Where I am today is not where I expected to be, but I have very few regrets. Aside from my struggle with weight, which has led to some health issues, I am beyond proud of the work my teams and I do, spreading joy and laughter.

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Takeaways

Don’t get stuck in the pain and embarrassment of mistakes and failures. Focusing on the good times, balanced with reflection on the hiccups, leads to a better future—one where you can pivot as the world changes. Find the things that bring you joy, whether it’s being on stage or swimming, and carve out time every week to do them.

Change your perspective on failure. No good or bad moment is the end.

In improv class, I tell the kids that the show tomorrow, the culmination of weeks of work, is not the end. Every experience—every class, rehearsal, or show—should be treated the same. Bring your best to the table, prepare, and have fun in the execution. Reflect on what worked and what didn’t as objectively as possible. We are human. We should enjoy the highs and feel the pain, but we need to move past both ego and insecurity to truly reflect on the good, the bad, and the ugly.

When we do this, success in life—at work, at play, or in love and friendship—becomes a series of repeating successes, learning from mistakes, and making minor adjustments to make today just a little better than yesterday.