Be your own hero! Change your story! Change Your Life!


How many people are out there trying to sell you advice? Or in many cases just trying to have a conversation as they attempt to grasp understanding for themselves.

In most cases its all garbage. Unsustainable, unrealistic and inapplicable junk.

There are other words I want to use but this is mostly an educational blog so I will refrain.

This past Saturday I (Walt Frasier) was one of four keynote speakers for the New Jersey Association for Gifted Children. I delivered a “KEYNOTE SPEECH” and Workshop on Improv Comedy and using Improv to become better public speaker, develop self confidence etc etc etc Click on these links to discover more because this blog post has NOTHING to do with my teachings. Feel free to skip past this quick and deliberate marketing ploy… (PS remember I am an Improv Actor/Director/Producer – NOT a writer lol)


In my free time I attended a few ADULT WORKSHOPS. What I loved about this conference, while I was working with the students, the parents were being educated how to help and understand their child and the world they navigate.

This is where I stumbled into Stephanie Tolan‘s Keynote on THE MIND. I was so blown away I purposefully sought out her workshop on STORY TELLER. If you do not know Stephanie’s work go get here book. It’s free at By day Stephanie is an author. But her superhero secret work – not so secret but unknown to me before Saturday – is somehow making sense of things others fail to try daily at trade shows and arts festivals. OR stating frankly WE DON’T KNOW. It was so simply profoundly stated by Stephanie WE DON’T KNOW HOW THE MIND WORKS or EXACTLY WHAT IS THE MIND.

What I took from that? Maybe we should not judge how one thinks because there is no proof our way is correct. My truth and reality is not the same as yours. The way I experience life is not yours. So 1) I should not judge you for your interpretations. I can disagree but I should not judge. 2) I should not be affected or effected by your judgement of me. (Kind of is a real nice way to say DON’T BULLY ME. I WON’T BULLY YOU. If you try to bully, judge or put me in a box, I refuse to let you affect or effect me.)

A few key phrases that stand out in my mind now…  (PLEASE read Stephanie’s work on the subject as I not even close to truly empowering the message I received)

“Change Your Story, Change Your Life”


“There are no minor characters. everyone else is a HERO of their story.”

“Sometimes Heroes have to rest!”

What is to follow by no way Stephanie Tolan’s work. It is heavily influence by two hours of hearing Stephanie talk. I implore you to go read her book for the source that has my mind spinning.

“Change Your Story, Change Your Life”

There is a lot to consider before making the leap. So please go read more about Stephanie and her book(s). But long story short, imagine your life is a novel. Now imagine your mind as the author of this novel.

So many of us allow others to write our story. Or we depend on others to write our story.

The cynicism and pessimism of family and friends writes our own narrative of the world. Or we dwell on the worst all on our own and ignore everyone trying to point out a silver lining.


CHOOSE to take the challenges and obstacle of your story head on and be your own HERO! The hero strives to do what is best to survive the day. Even the reluctant or anti-hero rises to the occasion.

In so many fictional stories the HERO has to attack the problem or no one else will.

We need to be our own champion.

“There are no minor characters. Everyone else is the HERO of their story.”

We all need to be the HERO of OUR STORY. That means no one is a minor character. And we are not the minor character in another’s story.

Others try to be our HERO. I often say in weight watchers meetings, I would love support. Instead I get advice and criticism.

Instead of always trying to be another’s hero focus on being the HERO in the story of your life.

Instead of depending on another, be the HERO in the story of your life.

Stephanie stated, sometimes we need to put on our own O2 mask before assisting others.

When we put everyone else first we suffer and fall.

“Sometimes Heroes have to rest!”

Here is a problem I often have. I am really good at being the HERO of my story. I make life a game – an adventure. UNTIL I stop. Most folks know the crazy over the top public persona. But when I crash, i crash hard. But I often have a hard time accepting I need to take a break.

I get tired.

I get lazy.

I get bored.

I get depressed.

For me I immediately tie this all into why I struggle with weight. I know how to be the hero – losing 50+ pounds since September (at lest the third time I has done so since early adult hood). On my way out from weight watchers a woman said to me “You are such an inspiration!” It felt good but also that double edge sword of my own mind said – “IF YOU ONLY KNEW THE WHOLE STORY!”

For me when I am incapable of being the HERO I love to be, I have a hard time accepting the need to chill. AND THEN I turn the sensation of TIRED into I NEED TO EAT. At those times I usually eat the wrong foods. Bad choices in nutrition makes me more tired so I skip the gym. Sitting at home all day I get bored. But then i get depressed.

AT ANYTIME IN THAT PROCESS a power nap followed by a 2-minute walk out side for fresh air would have jump started me back on the right path.


When I went to the conference Saturday, I was in a horrible rut internally.

Two weeks ago I was up 3.2 pounds. My depression led to a fight with my wife. I was feeling awful…


Last Tuesday I filmed a sketch for TRUTV’s “Friends of the People”. Every TV, FILM,Commercial booking is a plus which turns into more live work, bragging right/resume notch etc

I had a few auditions for other TV & Film roles.

I started rehearsing an incredibly fulfilling script for a NYC theater festival

The phone was off the hook all week for Spring & Summer Improv Gigs

Last Friday I taught a workshop to NJ School Team preparing for Destination Imagination Improv Challenge.

Saturday I was a keynote speaker and workshop leader.

You could say that this was a good as it gets for an “ARTIST” finding a balance being paid to do and or tech MY art or at least use my talent to make folks laugh via TV (rarely fulfilling as an artist LOL).

I was not in a HORRIBLE PLACE but I was struggling. I was finding the depressing message in every silver lining. Which depresses me because I pride myself in my own optimism.

I was losing the battle of hearing others’ cynicism and pessimism and my own inner voices going dark.

AND somehow Stephanie’s simple words and message (actually quite complex if you dig into the science) dragged me out of the hole. And suddenly I felt surrounded by like minds with a common goal – HOW DO WE MAKE IT BETTER?

NOW I was not surrounded by folks COMPLAINING about how “others make it impossible for me…”

Sunday I went to church. I sang the best I had sung in months. Everything was effortless.  After church there was a cluster of bad drivers clogging the exit to the mini parking lot. It was packed form all the late comers over sleeping the time change and parking in the aisle of the lot. I started to get frustrated but then I heard Stephanie’s voice. I stopped complaining and I did something constructive. I got out of the gig-mobile and directed traffic. I am convinced if I had not I would still be there waiting – or dead from an aneurysm… I went to the gym and walked / jogged for 64 minutes on the treadmill. Then I went to rehearsal for the play.

Yesterday I went back to the gym. 45 minutes on the treadmill. THEN I biked to rehearsal – first bike ride of 2015 felt AMAZING!!!! GREAT REHEARSAL.

Today I biked to Weight Watchers and was down 3.2 pounds.

Before Saturday I was THIS CLOSE (literally the width of the words THIS CLOSE) to giving up.

IN three days I seemingly undid three weeks of being in the rut.

Stephanie’s work may not be for you. I know I loved it.  But millions of “WISE WORDS” from 100’s of self-help “GURUS” all sounded like BS to me no many how many blind followers were drinking the kool-aid.

So what ever you do FIND YOUR PATH.

Every day I deal with students and schools dealing with the bully issue. Every day I meet people with depression. Everyday I turn on the TV and hear horrible stories with so called EXPERTS discussing the issues. It is all overwhelming.

But if we simply try to play the HERO of our story, not the victim of the other 8 billion stories out there, that is the story I want to watch!!!

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