⚽ 20 Dad Jokes: FIFA World Cup 2026 & New Jersey Soccer Edition

I live 5 minutes from the Meadowlands. I thought I already had a Dad Joke Blog for Football/Soccer/Futbol. I was wrong. Let me correct this now. Let the groans commences.

  1. How can the players survive this unbearable heatwave? They’re surrounded by fans!
  2. Why are soccer stadiums the cleans among all sports? Every team brings a sweeper.
  3. Why is Broadway poaching top World Cup players? They’re show is looking for a stopper!
  4. What do all the visiting teams say after playing MetLife Stadium? We found the American Dream!
  5. Why does the American team always look great playing in MetLife Stadium? They GTL before every game Down The Shore!
  6. What do Giants fans say about soccer being played at MetLife? FI FA FO FUM!
  7. What do Jets fans say about soccer being played Met Life? Finally!!! A game where scoring 3 or less points us normal!
  8. Why did both teams miss the World Cuo match in New Rutherford, NJ? They took the wrong tunnel!
  9. Who is the favorite singer/group for Mbappé? Hanson.
  10. Who is the sloppiest eater in Soccer? Messi.
  11. Why do so many games end in a tie? Players lack goals.
  12. Why did the soccer player bring string to the match? Because he wanted to tie the score!
  13. What is a soccer player’s least favorite type of tea? Penal-tea!
  14. Why are soccer players so excellent at math? They know exactly how to use their heads, divide the defense, and work with the angles!
  15. Why did the soccer ball go to the doctor? It was losing its pump and felt totally blown out of proportion!
  16. Why are Broadway sales up this month? The Wolrd Cup has too mnay bad acting roles.
  17. What do New Jersey transit trains and a bad soccer referee have in common? Neither respects the clock.
  18. Why do they always have to call the fire department at English Football games? Because they are all starting fires, they are ARSEN-ALL
  19. Why do so many British players and fans drink ale before, during and after a big game? They have a strong liver pool yet remain united. (This joke Dedicated to Simon Wilson lol)
  20. Why did the entire Yankees team attend the World Cup in Jersey? They didn’t want to miss the pitch!
  21. Why did 1990s boy band Hanson run on the field? They were confused when the announcer and crowd cheered for Mbappe!(SORRY NOT SORRY ON THIS ONE LOL)
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