If you ask most people what their biggest fear is, they will not say spiders, heights, or dark rooms. They will say public speaking. Stage fright sits right at the top of the phobia list, whether you are eight years old or forty-eight years old.
In the mental health and childhood development world, experts talk a lot about trauma informed care, polyvagal theory, and the nervous system. When a child runs off stage, freezes up during a presentation, or acts out in class, they are not just being difficult. Their brain is experiencing a classic fight, flight, or freeze response.
They feel an immediate threat. But that threat is not a physical danger. It is the fear of rejection, the fear of embarrassment, and the fear of looking foolish.
In my twenty-two years of teaching improv to kids, teens, and corporate executives, I have learned that ninety percent of the world’s problems boil down to two things: ego and insecurity. Improv is the single best tool I have ever found to strip those away and reset the nervous system.
You Say I Look Foolish Like It Is a Bad Thing
Years ago, an off-Broadway producer I knew had a bumper sticker on her office door that said, “You call me a bitch like it’s a bad thing.” I loved the attitude of that, so I adapted it for our work. I tell students, “You call me foolish like it’s a bad thing.”
Society spends a lot of time beating the wonder, hope, and creativity out of kids. By the time they reach fourth or fifth grade, adults have spent years yelling at them to sit still, shut up, and stop being silly for the sake of the adults’ sanity. Kids quickly learn that making a mistake means getting corrected or laughed at, so they build up a thick wall of armor.
They stop taking risks. They stop raising their hands. They decide it is safer to act cool, act tough, or sit in the back of the room and do nothing.
When you get up on stage and do improv, you are taking a direct hit at that fear. You learn that making a mistake is not the end of the world. In fact, in improv, there are no mistakes, only choices and opportunities. Once you realize that looking foolish in a supportive room will not kill you, the fear evaporates.
The Magic of Psychological Safety
About six months after I learned about Google’s Project Aristotle, a study on what makes high performing teams succeed, I was working with a group of fourteen and fifteen year old girls in the Bronx. Nothing I tried was reaching them. They were guarded, quiet, and completely shut down.
I decided to stop the class, sit down with them, and talk openly about psychological safety. The classroom teacher asked them, “Do you guys feel safe?”
Their answer was brutal. They said, “Not at home, not at school, and not in the neighborhood.”
We spent just five minutes talking about what it meant to take care of each other in that room, to have each other’s backs, and to create a space where the outside world could not touch them. After five minutes of establishing that safety, those same girls stood up and did incredible, brilliant work on stage. Lowering the fear response was all it took to unlock their potential.
How Our Three #1 Rules Rewire the Brain
To move kids out of survival mode and back into a state where they can learn and connect, we ground everything in our core framework:
- Rule #1: HAVE FUN, but NEVER at another’s expense (Tier 1 PBIS and Community Norms)
When kids know they will not be targeted, mocked, or roasted for putting an idea out there, the brain stops sensing danger. It replaces defensive anxiety with open curiosity. - Rule #1 in Improv: YES, AND… (Psychological Safety and Relationship Skills)
“Yes, And” guarantees that when you take a risk, your team will support you. You do not have to carry the scene alone. Knowing you have a safety net eliminates the fear of failure. - Rule #1 in Life: LISTEN! (Executive Functioning and Emotional Intelligence)
You cannot listen with your eyes if you are trapped inside your own head worrying about what to say next. When you drop your ego and focus entirely on your partner, your social awareness skyrockets.
The Takeaway
Stage fright and social anxiety are just two sides of the same coin. They come from being trapped in your own head, consumed by insecurity.
When we give young people a safe environment to play games, laugh, and fail with a smile, we give them permission to drop their armor. We are not just teaching them how to do a scene. We are helping them rewrite their image of themselves so they can walk through the world with real confidence.
Looking to help your students or staff overcome social anxiety, build confidence, and master public speaking? Explore our assemblies, workshops, and residencies at Improv4Kids.com, Improv-Teens-NYC.com, and NewYorkImprovTheater.com.
You must be logged in to post a comment.