When people first hear the phrase “Yes, And,” they think it means saying yes to every idea thrown their way. That is a complete misunderstanding.
If your scene partner points to a chair and says, “Look, a dragon!”, saying “Yes, that’s a dragon” and standing there staring at it gets you nowhere. The scene dies on the spot.
“Yes, And” is not passive agreement. It is active acceleration. It is how we build a scene, drive momentum, and get out of our own heads.
AND IT IS SO MUCH MORE
“YES!” is acceptance. We embrace and accept our team, their ideas, their cultures, their words, their clothing, speech, etc etc etc. We suspend judgements.
“AND…” is follow up with words and actions that support our team. We set them up to succeed. We are bumping and setting a volley ball for them to spike.
Even more so, YES AND… is all about making our team look good. We don’t have to worry about ourselves because the entire team has our back.
When engaged by the full team we create a fun safe space for all to play. We make it easy for all to thrive. Stage fright and social anxiety can let go of their grips. THIS is the best path to Psychological Safety, SEL and PBIS.
The Three Guiding Principles at New York Improv Theater
Everything we do on stage, and in conversation, comes down to three basic rules:
HAVE FUN (but NEVER at another’s expense)
This is Walt Frasier’s #1 Rule. Comedy works best when it builds people up instead of tearing them down. If you are getting a cheap laugh by making your scene partner look foolish or unsafe, you are doing it wrong. We create a positive, supportive room where everyone feels safe to play.
YES, AND… (Accept & Support)
This is the #1 Rule of Improv.
“YES” (Accept the Reality): You do not get to argue with what has already been established. If your partner says you are standing on the moon, you are on the moon. The second you say “No, we aren’t, we’re in New Jersey,” you break trust and kill the scene. Accept the premise with zero ego.
“AND” (Support & Add Context): Do not leave your partner hanging. Add new information to move the scene forward.- Bad response: “Yes, that’s a dragon.” (Zero contribution)
- Good response: “Yes, and it’s sleeping right on top of our car keys.” (Immediate stakes)
LISTENING (#1 Skill in Comedy and Business)
You cannot “Yes, And” something you did not pay attention to. Drop the internal script. Stop hunting for a clever joke or trying to prove how smart you are. Listen with your eyes, stay locked in, and react to what is actually happening in front of you.
The Takeaway
When you focus on having fun, supporting your partner’s idea, and actually listening, the pressure vanishes. Drop the defense mechanisms. Accept what is given, add your piece, and keep the momentum moving.
IRL YES AND… In Story Building
Improv, and all creative writing, is a series of choices. Imagine every choice as a brick. Imagine YES AND… as the mortar that glues the bricks in place. One YES AND… choice at a time we build the foundation of a great story.
IRL YES AND… In Live Performance
We say the word NO all the time in live comedy shows. Catch yourselves negating your scene partners. But for rehearsals, jams, and classes, I say outright outlaw the word NO. Use those times to break bad habits.
IRL YES AND… At Work & Home
Catch yourself say NO at home and work.
First of all, if anyone is putting you physical, mental, or psychological harm NEVER SAY YES! You deserve better. Don’t accept abuse. I don’t care who is the abuser, Including so called family.
Otherwise NO is usually the lazy or insecure choice. Saying YES leads to more responsibility and work. Saying YES puts ourselves at risk of embarrassment.
In both cases, SAY YES, SHOW UP and reap the rewards. Learn from mistakes. Be 1% better tomorrow than you are today. THAT is the recipe for long term success.
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