Envy vs. Jealousy: Why We Get Them Confused

The best part of teaching? Learning from your students. Thanks to Disney movie IN & OUT 2, my 9-14yo students from Saturday 10am class schooled me. I have been using Jealousy wrong for 45+ years. I assume I’m not the only one so here it goes….

Envy and jealousy are often used interchangeably, but they are distinct emotions with different meanings. Understanding the difference can help us better understand our own feelings and those of others.

Envy is the feeling of wanting something that someone else has. It can be a material possession, a talent, or a relationship. Envy is often accompanied by feelings of inferiority and resentment.

Jealousy is the fear of losing something that you already have. It is often triggered by a perceived threat to a relationship, such as a romantic partner or a close friend. Jealousy is often accompanied by feelings of insecurity and possessiveness.

Why do so many people think they mean the same thing?

There are a few reasons why envy and jealousy are often confused.

• They are both negative emotions. Both envy and jealousy are associated with feelings of discontent and dissatisfaction.
• They can both be triggered by the same things. For example, seeing a friend with a new car can trigger both envy (wanting the car) and jealousy (fear that the friend will no longer value your friendship).
• They can both lead to similar behaviors. Both envy and jealousy can lead to behaviors such as gossip, sabotage, and even violence.

How to tell the difference:

A simple way to remember the difference is that envy is about wanting something someone else has, while jealousy is about fearing the loss of something you already have.

Here are some examples:

• Envy: You see your neighbor’s new car and wish you had one too.
• Jealousy: You see your partner flirting with someone else and feel threatened.

It’s important to note that both envy and jealousy are normal emotions. Everyone experiences them from time to time. However, if these emotions are excessive or causing problems in your life, it may be helpful to seek professional help.

In conclusion, envy and jealousy are distinct emotions with different meanings. Understanding the difference can help us better understand our own feelings and those of others.