NUANCE IS DEAD! I say this often. I hear this often. It explains my teaching method. This article is for those that know me. For my students and those colleagues that love to say, “there is a lot more to it than that.”
There is always more to it, on every subject. I can’t stand ANY political speech in 2026. Any attempt to be nuanced leads to an army of closed minded one sided attacks from ALL sides. I remember in the mid 1980s, my civics professor teaching about polarization. It’s 100 worse now. I am not making a BOTH SIDES argument. I have a clear line in the sand these days. But the rhetoric from those I otherwise agree with lacks ETHOS, PATHOS, LOGOS and often drives more away into the arms of con men. But thay is not the point of this article…
As a teacher, I have some hard fast rules that I break daily.
- HAVE FUN but NEVER at another’s expense.
- Leave ego and insecurity behind.
- ALWAYS SAY YES AND…
- Start every day with a smile.
I am reminded by a few judgemental cynics every day when I break these rules. I am married and have numerous work wives of various gender 😆.
EGO & INSECURITY
I am human. I am incredibly flawed. My core values are not techniques as much as ways to catch myself wandering off the path.
By repeating my #1 rule daily to students – corporate and k12 outreach- I am imprinting this new version of the golden rule on my neuro network. This leads to me catching myself in times ego and insecurity may lead to lashing out harshly. It makes me a better teacher in the difficult rooms, where no one is listening.
I had someone tell me “YOU KNOW YOU HAVE AN EGO, RIGHT?” DUH! I am a recovering diva opera tenor. I lost many friends in school by how I acted offstage when I became the star. I was not as bad as they come, but…
I always remember lashing out at a friend backstage. I was about to go on as Karl Franz, THE STUDENT PRINCE, a very difficult role for me at 20. My focus was being ready to sing a bunch of high Cs, kiss a very pretty girl (I was a total geek with ZERO game), and carry a show as the lead in a three act operetta.
So when a dear friend asked, “ARE YOU GOING TO THE CAST PARTY AFTER?” My response was, “ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW?:
One, of course I was. Two, how could you be focused on anything BUT delivering for this audience. Theater for me was becoming something more than a dream. For many it is a community experience. But I LOVED the process, the storytelling, the blood, sweat and tears reaching for new heights and overcoming my shortcomings in the moment.
I regret that moment. I regret many moments when the darker side of humanity eminated from me.
I met my wife right before doing that show in 1993. We were dating by opening night. I love Laurice with all my heart. But far too often, I was a TERRIBLE listener, selfish for my emotional state when she just needed my ear to vent. And far too many times ot got ugly.
It is HER grace that we are still together today. Roles reversed at times, I don’t know I would have stayed with me. But here we are, about to celebrate 29 years of marriage. Two weeks ago, 33 years dating (six months before X-FILES #iykyk 😆)
I preach what I preach to be a better man, lead by example, and hopefully inspire a new generation to be better than I was. That’s the goal of any good parent. Without kids of my own, I can be the Obi-Wan Kenobi for others.
LISTEN, DON’T THINK
OK, yes I am always thinking. As much as I hate nomenclature, I have drawn a line in sand as a teacher. WHEN YOU LISTEN WITH YOUR EYES YOU NEVER HAVE TO THINK.
I repeat my THREE #1s at every class. When I ask WHAT’S MY #1 RULE, most kids yell out DON’T THINK! (Unironically, as my nephew would say!)
There is SO MUCH nuance here. Truly I am always thinking. My inner monologue and subtext far exceeds any words every spoken. I am lost in concept and technique. But I know those voices get in the way at times. I struggle with focus, being in the moment. Growing up I was a math & science guys, not a poet. I was a musician thay could get lost in a blues solo more than any Shakespeare monologue.
Keeping that inner voice at bay is necessary to succeed for me as an actor. It is amazing in preparation. When I seem flaky, one of two things is happening. That voice is screaming at me, taking centerstage. Or I am overcompensating shutting that guy up so I can be in the moment.
I was hanging out after a show on Long Island a few weeks back. Laurice, Evan and Steven were joking about something. I was smiling and nodding along and then blurted out something about marketing our shows. I could see the looks on all three, WTF DUDE. We off the clock now.
My success is my obsessive focus on tomorrow. I am very good at turning that off during a show. You have to to succeed as a performer. Again, HAVE FUN ON STAGE.
But the second I get off, how can this be better tomorrow?
That show was amazing. But the size of the audience was not. The four of us could enertain any crowd together. Those three are so talented. They deserved a bigger audience. That’s my obsessive thought as they had beers and reminisce past glories on the road!
Meanwhile I see actors get so obsessed with their “brilliant” choices they never get to live them on stage. Their ego is front and present. “Look at me and my brilliant choices!”
Perfection as an artists happens when you get brilliant in the preparation stage, and then get out of the way for the execution. At that point we have to trust our instincts.
But as a teacher, director and producer, I see more issues with ego and insecurity. I see less issues with lack of talent. I’ve seen lifeless shells steal a show the second they started having fun.
I see kids terrified daily. After a 30 minute workshop, I see glimpses of joy, fighting all instinct to smile. Their walls are well earned by a cruel world. I want to show them their is a better way to survive the noise.
I argue with my own teachers about the importance of technique daily. We artists LOVE getting heady about technique. Most of my colleagues have never seen me in a scripted show, let alone shared a stage with me. I LOVE PROCESS!
But teaching kids, teens and corporate teams, they don’t care or respect any of that stuff. I think this is why I have so much success with new students. I get 99.99% of those with stage fright comfortable wirh the spotlight in under two hours. I few learn to love it in a matter of minutes. Stepping out of the shadows of fear opens doors to a world they never imagined possible.
I have had 1000s of students now. A few decided they wanted more. They caught the bug that bit me 35 years ago. One is at USC screenwriting now. Another is a COMEDY major at Emerson. Now in college, those folks are ready for the nuanced study of the arts.
My career goal is to forego self tapestries and auditions. These future stars will write their star vehicles and hopefully hire me to play the annoying neighbors, etc 😆 RETIREMENT PLAN? CHECK! (They already wrote the pilot!!!! YEAH)
NEVER SAY NO
The #1 Rule in Improv is YES AND… Many interpret this as NEVER SAY NO!
The nuance: if the actor says YES AND… with their intent, the character they play can say NO. Real people say NO, so our characters should be free to fear, lead from a defensive posture, be judgemental etc.
In rehearsal, class, and jams, I preach OUTLAW THE WORD NO. Cause here is the thing… NO is the instinctive response to just about everything for just about everyone. YES AND… is less about NEVER SAY NO. It’s more aboot teaching to overcome instinct in favor of listening and empathy.
It allows out characters to be more free of our reigh of ego and insecurity.
But ALSO here is the thing. Far too many pros hide behind MY CHARACTER CAN SAY NO. They allow their ego, insecurity and judgement creep in and destroy a great scene.
So as a teacher/mentor/director I will double down on NEVER SAY NO. And then when it creeps out, no worries. In the arts EVERY rule is meant to be broken. In a scene I will never call you out. I will never throw you under the bus in front of an audience or class. But know, I know you are capable of better. (Mothering Guilt Trip 101? 😉)
HAVE FUN FOR ADVANCED ARTISTS
My message to new actors, comics, dancers, wroters, directors, painters…. is HAVE FUN but NEVER at another’s expense.
At some point, if you want to do this for real, for reel 😆, you need to learn technique. You need to learn how to break down a script. You need to learn how to research a role. You need to learn advanced speech, movement, combat training, etc etc etc. There is so much more to acting than anyone respects.
But when you come back to NYC or LA or wherever you land, I go back to saying HAVE FUN but NEVER at another’s expense!
You need to HAVE FUN with the BIZ. Treat it like a game. A rare few are plucked seemly right off the bus at Port Authority and put on Broadway. Most folks who take the BIZ too seriously, burn out in a year or less. In a world where wannabe engineers still live at home at 30, there is no shame in realizing THIS IS NOT WHAT I DREAMED!
You need to HAVE FUN with the work. TECHNIQUE is not acting. It’s our tool chest. Technique and Training informs our artistic choices. Dumb luck is replaced with educated guesstimations.
But audiences, outside of showcase theater for other actors, don’t enjoy watching our process. Other actors are impressed with your choices but most audiences want to experience the result of those choices.
I think I still is why MOST improv comedy is beloved by other actors. I often say 90% of the improv world prefers what goes on at places like USB. 90% of the human race would prefer what I do.
Many improv folks don’t understand my success. I break almost ALL their rules. I once had a review, by an improv actor for an Off Off Broadway theater blog, accuse me of scripting my work. I took this as a compliment. An “experienced” “professional” improv player couldn’t tell between my improv work and a scripted sketch. This is the benefit of focusing on GREAT THEATER and avoiding BAD COMEDY (don’t worry I am guilty of the latter daily!)
I recently posted a clip of me doing a Canadian cross (get in, add to the scene, get out). Two ladies were playing mother/daughter sitting. To help establish their WHERE, I crossed downstage, opened up the fridge, pulled out a beer, crossed back now upstage. Daughter, says, atopping at the top of the triangle between them, “Dad, I’m having a problem.” Not wanting to take over the scene (this was their show, I was a guest performer), I said “Your mother will deal with it!” and went back to watching the Jets lose in the den.
A comment on the TikTok post “That was the greatest improv I have ever seen!”
Unimpressed with compliments or complains I took this with a grain of salt, in case he was being cynical 😆
But how did I make this seem so natural? I made a series of choices.
- I saw mother and daughter at a kitchen table discuss life choices.
- I saw the kitchen, in my mind, a lower middle class, working family home. Rough around the edges, dated appliances, wall papers etc (imagine having the Stranger Things 1980s set, filled with dated 1969s/1970s decor for a home today in 2026. Many people love that reality.)
- I saw myself as a man who does not understand these women talk about. Not bad, but a hard working guy that was emotionally useless at home. Mom is better at these things so I’ll leave her to it.
- Before entering I imagined I was coming from the den where the Jets were losing.
My choices helped the audience see what I saw. I never once said, I am going to walk and talk a certain way. I never once considered the words I would say. I only said, I need a beer. The Jets are losing. I am not a guy that deals with emotional complications well (some truth to that). I never once tried to be funny. But I got a huge laugh because it was real.
I did not plan all this. In my inner monologue, I made one choice at a time and trusted the character to do the work.
In order to train you how to think like an actor, like an artist, we have to destroy what you THINK thinking is. It’s not that I don’t want you to think. I just don’t want to SEE you thinking. So I say,
STOP THINKING, MAKE A CHOICE!
I want you to stop thinking in a way that is governed by ego and insecurity. Don’t:
- TRY TO BE CLEVER
- TRY TO BE FUNNY
- TRY TO IMPRESS ME/OTHERS
The day you stop THINKING, worrying about the perfect answer, you will suddenly open up a world of possibilities!
I truly believe EVERY CHOICE by the artist is suspect. But EVERY CHOICE made by the character is always correct. It may not be funny- it may not be intellectual, but it is organic to where YOU truly are in that moment. THAT’S how to BE YOURSELF as well, BTW.
CHALLENGE YOURSELF
Every day my heart breaks when I see a colleague resort to their bag of tricks. They give up on the scene for what worked in the past. Or worse, they adopt another’s 💩 bag. Anyone remember the James Brown splits faze? (Again, #iykyk).
I have a goto bag of tricks in games like WORLD’S WORST. In shows and classes I have played the World’s Worst teacher or doctor 5000+ times. I am a kid at a candy store when I come up with a new one, even when it bombs. But when I am tired, I dig into the bag.
I have characters like JIMMY. Jimmy has a couple moves that help me get into that character, but I try to make every seen original. They may seem similar, or even repetitive. Jimmy is vary particular, a fice year old with my 53yo brain, cynicism, knowledge, etc. It’s me filtered though the innocent mouth of a baby.
AND at the end of the day, when you focus on HAVING FUN, you can survive the minutia of the day. So many things happen that seem SO important in the moment, but you won’t even remember next week. HAVING FUN for me is all about focusing on what truly matters. Sorry not sorry if I don’t get bogged down by ypur ego and insecurity.
As a producer, folks try to put their monkey on my back daily. It may be jarring when I take the Gary Vee approach and say. OK lets cut through the BS and deal with the real problem. OR I cut off an actor trying to impress me. STOP WITH THE BS.
For me HAVING FUN = FOCUS ON THE WORK, because I LOVE THE WORK. Even writing this article, knowing MOST Will not read these words. Knowing one of you might still be with be and live a better life for it…. I don’t need ro go viral if I cN inspire ONE soul to love a better life and join me on my mission.
I spread joy and laughter one show/workshop at a time. If I can teach ONE artists to join me every day, we can exponentially make this a better world for all. My mentoring has a selfish goal. If I can make YOU happy I am SURROUNDED by joy and laughter.
